My Due Date

Back in January, September 13 felt like an eternity away. Since then, it's been a day that represents hope. It's surreal that this day is actually here, even if we haven't met Baby yet.

This pregnancy has been such an experience and a roller coaster. The past nine months have felt like the longest waiting game and quickest year at the same time.

Autumn has always been my favorite season, from the hints of cooler weather to pumpkin decor, orange and red hues, football games and listening to my favorite songs that I associate with the season. As of 2016, autumn also marks our wedding anniversary.

This year, as hot as the summer has been and as much as I loathe summer, I’ve been trying to relish every day and not rush autumn’s beginning - well, except for the fact that I put out autumn decorations around our living room back in August.

And now, autumn will also be a time for a special birthday.

We've prayed for this piece of our family and for a healthy journey. Following her development and learning just what my body can be capable of (especially when you doubt yourself) has been a truly eye-opening experience. Every healthy doctor appointment and every sound of her heartbeat gave me some relief, although a part of me has felt anxious every single day since January.

I've remained grateful for every symptom I've had, both good and bad, although pregnancy hormones (and emotions and rage, ha) have absolutely kicked my ass. I would have taken any symptoms, just to know that she's healthy and growing. I will miss being pregnant, carrying and developing a life and feeling those flutters turn into kicks turn into alien ninja karate moves. (I kind of won't miss the unsolicited advice and opinions though!)

I AM really looking forward to: a nice glass of red wine, a big plate of sushi, a poké bowl with raw salmon, more than 12 ounces of pumpkin spice latte in my reusable mug and eventually doing headstands and wheel pose in hot yoga again.

I dream of days riding bikes as a family around the neighborhood, of reading books before bed, of playing in the backyard together (unfortunately I'm terrible at just about every sport), and of family trips to the camp and other vacation destinations.

While I don't want to rush time at all, I wonder what she'll be like as she grows up. What her interests and hobbies will be. (And she'll have no choice on litter cleanups and bike rides.) What she'll look like at birth and a few years down the road. How her little personality will bloom.

Parenting is, of course, full of the unknown. That usually fills me with anxiety, but this almost feels like the excitement of opening the Christmas present you've wanted for so long.

This little girl is forever our rainbow. 

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